Alab Online Meeting
- Monday to Friday
- 8:00 – 9:00 PM PHT
- Zoom · ID 851 0000 2824 · Passcode 1234

Peer support fellowship · Philippines
Not sure if gambling has become a problem? Start with the private self-check. When you're ready, everything else is one click away.
Answer 20 yes-or-no questions to see where you stand. Your answers stay on your device and are never sent or stored.
Your next step
Step inside the fellowship. Meet people who understand, find a meeting tonight, and get the tools to stay on the road to recovery.
Answered yes to at least 7 of the 20 questions? You are not alone, and this is where you can proceed. Come in.
Enter AlabNew here? Call or text
Micah V. 0917 535 6804
Alab app · Libre
Add Alab to your home screen for free. It opens like an app, with no app store needed, and works even without internet.
Alab is installed on this device.
How to install
Confidential self-check
Answer honestly. Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least 7 of these questions. Your answers stay on your device and are never sent or stored.
Take your time. There are no right or wrong answers.Answer Yes or No to each question.
Questions from the Twenty Questions of Gamblers Anonymous.
Maligayang pagdating
A free, confidential fellowship of Filipinos helping one another stop gambling, one day at a time.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling.
Meetings
All meetings are free and confidential. Newcomers are always welcome. Times are Philippine Standard Time (PHT).
Your first meeting
Join in person or online with your camera off. Nobody asks your full name or how much you lost.
The facilitator reads our purpose. What is shared in the room stays in the room.
People talk about their week, urges, and what helped. You may say "pass" and listen.
Exchange numbers with a member who has time in recovery. One call can stop a bet.
Tools & Tips
Willpower gets tired. Barriers don't. Members say these helped most in their first 90 days.
Make gambling harder to reach.
PAGCOR's self-exclusion program bars you from licensed casinos and gaming sites. Ask at any PAGCOR branch or visit pagcor.ph.
Uninstall betting apps, unlink GCash or Maya from gaming sites, and lower your daily transfer limits.
Let a trusted family member hold your ATM card or co-sign withdrawals for a season. It is a safety net, not a punishment.
Get through the hard moments.
When an urge comes, commit to waiting one full day. Call a fellow member or take a walk. Most urges pass within the hour.
Payday, sabong season, a big game, conflict at home, boredom late at night. Name them and plan ahead.
List every debt honestly and talk to lenders before they call you. Never borrow to win it back.
For families
Gambling addiction affects the whole household. You did not cause it and you cannot cure it alone, but you can protect yourself and your family.
Separate accounts are not a betrayal.
Not unless a recovery plan is in place.
Say "I'm worried," not "You're hopeless."
Family members are always welcome.
How we work
Five commitments that keep every Alab meeting safe, welcoming and focused on recovery.
First names only. What is shared stays in the room.
No dues or fees. Costs are covered by voluntary member contributions.
We are people in recovery, not doctors or counselors. We share experience, not advice.
Relapse happens. You are welcome back as many times as it takes.
We do not endorse any business, religious group, or political cause.
Panalangin · Our prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.Amen.
Sa Tagalog
Diyos ko ibigay N'yo po sa akin ang katiwasayan na tanggapin ang mga bagay na di ko kayang baguhin,
ang tapang upang mabago ang mga bagay na kaya ko,
at ang karunungan para malaman ang kaibahan.
Mabuhay sa araw araw,
magalak sa bawat sandali,
tanggapin na ang kahirapan ay daan patungo sa kapayapaan,
katulad ng ginawa Niyang pagtanggap sa makasalanang mundong ito at hindi ng ayon sa aking kagustuhan,
magtiwala na lahat ng bagay ay gagawin Niyang tama kung susundin ko ang Kanyang kalooban,
upang matamo ang kaligayahan sa mundong ito at ang lubos na kaligayahan na nasa Kanya magpakailanman sa kabilang buhay.Amen.
Sanggunian · Resources
Literature to help you understand compulsive gambling and the path to recovery.
Reading 1 of 7
Tap a question to read the answer.
Compulsive gambling is an illness, progressive in its nature, which can never be cured but can be arrested.
Before coming to Gamblers Anonymous many compulsive gamblers thought of themselves as morally weak, or at times just plain “no good”. The Gamblers Anonymous concept is that compulsive gamblers are really very sick people who can recover if they will follow to the best of their ability a simple program that has proved successful for thousands of other men and women with gambling or compulsive gambling problem.
Gambling, for the compulsive gambler, is defined as follows: Any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or “skill” constitutes gambling.
Only you can make that decision.
Most people turn to Gamblers Anonymous when they become willing to admit that gambling has them licked. Also in Gamblers Anonymous, a compulsive gambler is described as a person whose gambling has caused growing and continuing problems in any department of his or her life.
Many Gamblers Anonymous members went through terrifying experiences before they were ready to accept help. Others were faced with a slow, subtle deterioration which finally brought them to the point of admitting defeat.
GA has developed a series of questions that can assist you in determining whether you are a compulsive gambler.
Take the 20 questionsPerhaps, however insofar as stopping gambling, many Gamblers Anonymous members have abstained from gambling without the benefit of the knowledge of why they gambled.
From Gamblers Anonymous literature.
Reading 2 of 7
Page 17
Attend as many meetings as possible per week. MEETINGS MAKE IT.
Telephone other members as often as possible between meetings. USE THE TELEPHONE LIST!
Don’t test or tempt yourself. Don’t associate with acquaintances who gamble. Don’t go in or near gambling establishments. Don’t access online or mobile betting platforms. DON’T GAMBLE FOR ANYTHING.
Live the Gamblers Anonymous Program ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don’t try to solve all your problems at once.
Read the Recovery and Unity steps often and continuously review the Twenty Questions. Follow the steps in your daily affairs. These steps are the basis for the entire Gamblers Anonymous Program and practicing them is the key to growth. GET INVOLVED AND BE OF SERVICE. If you have any questions, ask them of your Trusted Servants and Sponsors.
GET A SPONSOR, IT IS DIFFICULT TO RECOVER ON YOUR OWN. Sponsorship gives an opportunity for members to work on a one-on-one basis to achieve recovery by sharing, practicing, and working the 12 steps of recovery.
We encourage every Gamblers Anonymous member to have a PRESSURE RELIEF GROUP MEETING. It offers guidance toward a normal way of thinking and living. The Pressure Relief Group Meeting helps alleviate financial, employment, and personal pressures. Adherence to it will aid in your recovery.
BE PATIENT! The days and weeks will pass soon enough, and as you regularly attend meetings, abstain from gambling and follow the guidelines on this page you will experience continued recovery.
From Gamblers Anonymous literature.
Reading 3 of 7
Page 1GA Poem
I sought my soul,
But I could not see,
I sought my God,
But He eluded me,
I sought my brothers and sisters,
and found all three.
Page 3Preamble
GA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experiences, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from a gambling problem.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling. There are no dues or fees for GA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. GA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause. Our primary purpose is to stop gambling and to help other compulsive gamblers to do the same.
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real problem gamblers. No one likes to think they are different from their fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our gambling careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could gamble like other people. The idea that somehow, someday, we will control our gambling is the great obsession of every compulsive gambler. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of prison, insanity or death.
We learned we had to concede fully to our innermost selves that we are compulsive gamblers. This is the first step in our recovery. With reference to gambling, the delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We have lost the ability to control our gambling. We know that no real compulsive gambler ever regains control. All of us felt at times we were regaining control, such intervals – usually brief – were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced that gamblers of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period of time we get worse, never better.
Therefore, in order to lead normal happy lives, we try to practice to the best of our ability, certain principles in our daily affairs.
From Gamblers Anonymous literature.
Reading 4 of 7
Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.
From Gamblers Anonymous literature.
Reading 5 of 7
The Twelve Steps of Recovery are the basis of the Gamblers Anonymous program. Practicing them is the key to growth. Tap a step marked Working the Steps to open its discussion.
Working the Steps: Step 1
We at Gamblers Anonymous, believe our gambling problem is an emotional illness, progressive in nature, which no amount of human will-power can stop or control. We have facts to support this belief. We believed, at one time or another, that all of our problems could be solved with a big win. Some, pathetically, even after making a big win, found themselves in worse trouble within a short period of time. We continued to gamble. We found we had risked loss of family, friends, security and jobs. We still continued to gamble. We gambled to the point where it resulted in imprisonment, insanity or attempted suicide. We still continued to gamble and were unable to stop. We fell victim to a belief that if only our financial problems could be solved, we would be able to stop gambling or even be able to gamble like normal people. Many times we swore we would not gamble again believing we had the will-power to stop gambling. We believed a lie. We believed we had the power to stop or control our gambling. Our inability to honestly look at our gambling problem enabled us to continue to gamble. In spite of all of the evidence from our past, we still denied the truth about our gambling.
Upon entering Gamblers Anonymous we must develop the ability to honestly look at our gambling. This is the first step in our process of recovery. Without honesty, we can not admit our powerlessness over gambling. We must honestly accept, admit and unconditionally surrender to this powerlessness in order to proceed with our recovery. Any reservations we had or may presently have that we can gamble again means we still believe we are not powerless over gambling and that we have not admitted or accepted our powerlessness (either we have power over gambling or we don’t).
To those members who have difficulty with admitting their powerlessness over gambling, they should write about their gambling, and the destruction their gambling has caused and their countless futile attempts to stop gambling. Use the “20 Questions” as a guide. Write extensively, thoroughly and specifically using each of the questions as a central focal point. Only with the awareness and the acceptance of the hopelessness, helplessness and desperation of our situation (as compulsive gamblers) can we develop the open-mindedness required for Step Two.
Step One tells us that admitting our gambling defeat is humiliating and we naturally resent this show of weakness.
Discuss
In GA we discover that admitting our gambling problem to others has become the foundation on which our recovery will be built.
Discuss
Step One announces we are instinctively shocked when told that will power and self-knowledge will not break our obsession to gamble.
Discuss
Our failings brought us to GA. By admitting and accepting our problem we become willing to listen and remain open-minded.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 2
Having been convinced of our powerlessness over gambling and the unmanageability of our lives in Step One, we are now told that only a power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. (THIS MEANS WE CAN’T DO IT BY OURSELVES). At this point, we must begin to develop open-mindedness. For only by beginning to be open-minded, can we start to understand the true meaning of the step. Most, if not all of our members, have found a resistance or a reluctance to deal with a higher power. The idea of a power greater than ourselves, restoring us to a normal way of thinking and living, does not come easily to us. However, if we truly believe that we are powerless over gambling and have an illness that will progressively destroy our lives, then we desperately need a solution to our illness.
In this step, we are told that there is a solution. Our solution is living a spiritual recovery program. This Spiritual Recovery Program is brought about by a progressive character change that cannot be accomplished through will-power. We need a source of power that is greater than ourselves to bring about this change. The change will take place by proceeding with the work required in the remaining steps. What will come with the work is an understanding and practice of kindness, generosity, honesty and humility within ourselves and with others which will lead us eventually to a belief in a Power of our own understanding.
Here, many of us had to examine why we refused to believe in a Power greater than ourselves. We found that some of the obstacles preventing us from attempting to believe were pride, ego, fear, self-centeredness, defiance, and grandiosity. In order to recover from our illness, these obstacles must be eliminated. Here, our sponsors can be of assistance. They can share with us their experiences as to how they overcame their resistance to believe in a Higher Power. We found that writing about our resistance is a good method to help us. We had to put on paper how the obstacles blocked us and led us to refuse to accept a Higher Power.
Most of us did not fully understand what this Higher Power was. At this point, it was only necessary to accept that there was one. Many of us used our sponsor, other members or the Fellowship as this Higher Power, but eventually, as we proceeded with the work required in these steps, we came to believe this Higher Power to be a God of our own understanding. We must have the honesty to look at our illness, the open-mindedness to accept the solution being told to us and the willingness to apply this solution by proceeding on with the recovery process of these steps.
Step Two warns that belief (Higher Power will remove obsession) may be difficult.
Discuss
It is recommended that all believers and non-believers “Take It Easy.”
Discuss
Step Two recommends that we stop fighting the thought that a Higher Power may exist.
Discuss
Step Two promises when we have “cleaned house” our Higher Power will enter to expel our gambling obsession.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 3
We are powerless over gambling – our lives became completely unmanageable, then in Step Two we found that help was available. Ask yourself if you want help and you will realize that you certainly need help or you would not have come to Gamblers Anonymous. If you are going to arrest this illness, you need all the help you can get, so keep an open mind and get going on Step Three.
What must be done? At the beginning just make the decision so that later you can turn your will and your life over to your higher power; this willingness is the action asked for in Step Three. At this point you may protest that “I don’t believe in God and therefore, this step can not be worked.” It can be worked if you realize that Gamblers Anonymous is a spiritual, not a religious Fellowship. With an open mind start to realize that you are no longer a loner; indeed, through Gamblers Anonymous we are bound together. We are truly part of one another. This spiritual binding cannot be explained so it seems a Higher Power is at work.
When gambling ceases, a door closes on the past horrors which you have survived. A visit to the past so you won’t forget to dwell there brings remorse and self pity, two deadly pitfalls for compulsive gamblers. As the door to the past life closes, the door to a new life opens. There was no faith or hope and now there is. You can see the Gamblers Anonymous program working. Then you progress to the recovery program and eventually to Step Three.
As you develop through the program things happen which seem to be coincidence, but are they? A hopeless case stops gambling, a member out of work a long time gets a job and even the ultimate happens – an insane member gets back his sanity. Coincidences? You do good things and good things happen.
Coping with each day’s happiness and unhappiness is becoming slowly and surely a way of life. You must not gamble today and you will become better than you have ever been. Progress may be slow but you are grateful in learning what spirituality really is. Love of money is a major problem when most people come to the program. Then money falls into its proper place. It is nothing more than an aid toward a beautiful way of life; no longer is money an end unto itself. No longer are material objects the only aim and ambition. One can’t buy health, humility, self-worth, self-esteem, happiness and all the other fundamentals of a serene and contented way of life. These rewards must be earned. A Higher Power and you walking side by side can work together each day so that you can become better than you have ever been. Accept this as the fruits of a master plan. Learn anonymity and other healthy parts of a sound spiritual life. By asking your Higher Power to help you get through the day without making a bet you will get the help you are seeking. That is the essence of Step Three.
How? Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. This old formula will work for you as it has for so many others. No longer will you be lonely. No longer do you make the decisions. Life has a balance which it has lacked. In a crowd or by yourself, you are no longer alone.
Step Three asks us to complete the surrender started in Step One and decide to turn over our will to the care of a Higher Power.
Discuss
Surrender is difficult because:
Discuss
Step Three promises true independence through our decision to know God’s will for us.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 4
Trust your Higher Power and then clean house.
The first three steps have laid the groundwork for Step Four; surrender to a powerlessness to gamble and an inability to manage the problems in one’s life. Then acquire a senior partner much greater than oneself to guide and accompany you through the remaining steps. Together all can accomplish so much which cannot be done alone.
Step Four – now you are into the “Cleaning House” area of your life. Now begin an intensive inner search to locate as much guilt, and good, as you can uncover. This search is healthy and practical because dormant, accumulating guilt has long been an enemy. Most compulsive gamblers covered this guilt with a clever facade called rationalization. In the past rationalization tricked us into making very bad actions seem not so bad or even good. Honesty and only honesty can break down this tricky facade. Then you can see yourself exactly as you are for perhaps the first time in your life. Face squarely the financial and emotional wrongs that have been done in order to then forgive oneself.
While doing Step Four how do you uncover all the guilt? A thorough reading of “A Guide to Fourth Step Inventory” available through your group or from the International Service Office can be of great assistance. Then, an autobiographical approach starting with your first bet or even earlier, and moving forward to the present seems indicated. As one moves along many areas of guilt long forgotten will come to mind. Perhaps you will see some of the following: over-indulgence, greed, lying, dishonesty, failure to accept responsibility, self-destruction, destruction of others, excessive waste of time, arrogance, resentment, jealousy and many others. Guilt is personal, therefore one must seek it out by oneself.
Your mind will probably turn to loved ones and the harm laid on them; the dishing out of insecurity so generously. This guilt must be fully realized so we will not be tempted to deal with it later by further gambling. In taking inventory honestly, examine each incident that you can recall from your gambling days. This includes the things you did and those you failed to do: the physical abuse and the verbal abuse which left a lifetime impression. There is much manipulation of people which took from them their right to lead their own lives.
No two gamblers are alike yet none is unique. Each of us has our own collection of guilt which must be unearthed. After discovering and digging up this guilt, one will find it necessary to rid oneself of it. The steps that follow will show how to do this. By practicing these steps you can attain a better way of life based on solid healing principles.
With the help of your Higher Power you can acknowledge guilt as you work the fourth step. Our Higher Power, as we understand Him, can do for us what we could not do for ourselves.
After completing Step Four and having accumulated your personal barrel of guilt you can get rid of it in Step Five and find that you are an O.K. person. Then the good life can be maintained one day at a time.
Step Four tells us that our instincts are God given, yet misdirected instincts lead to serious emotional problems.
Discuss
Willingness to look at our misdirected instincts (defects) is pride in reverse.
Discuss
Many members feel that gambling is their only defect.
Discuss
Step Four warns that we must be fearless when taking our moral and financial inventories.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 5
It is suggested that this step be done shortly after completing Step Four, while the facts revealed in Step Four are still fresh in one’s mind. In Step Four one can dig inside oneself, as most compulsive gamblers accumulated loads of guilt. In Step Five one can dispose of this guilt and cope with everyday problems. One can always look back, and must in making amends, but no longer do you have to live with your personal guilt bag.
Selecting someone to help you with the fifth step is the next chore. The person should fill two needs; one, they should have the experience and wisdom to help see the situation more clearly, and be a person who will keep the conversation completely confidential. Perhaps your sponsor will be the logical choice, your clergyman or a good friend; you must make the choice. Reread the fourth step and use your notes as an agenda. Honesty, open-mindedness and sincerity will make the whole thing go more smoothly. Your ego, which won’t like the idea of displaying former misdeeds to another human being, will quickly accept the healthy atmosphere. You will see yourself more clearly after Step Four and this insight will remain. Self-knowledge has no bounds. Your newfound serenity will enable you to calmly listen and learn. Your awareness will really accelerate. Your relief at having disposed of this guilt will be tremendous.
Humility is a very elusive trait which seems to fly away from one who seems to feel they possess it. If this be so, you must seek to become a well-adjusted person and in so doing, gain humility which one does not realize one has. Do not take this step lightly or minimize its importance. Those who have done this step feel that guilt must be disposed of, and action through this step is the proper way to do it.
Guilt disposed of as suggested, will aid you in so many ways. Self-honesty is accelerated as you clearly see your guilt. No longer will you feel unique. Rather, you will join the human race knowing that you are not alone. What the program teaches comes true. You will realize no two gamblers are alike yet none is an original. Upon entering the program, one now feels a sense of being understood. No longer will you be alone, and knowledge of this is exhilarating. As conflicts arise, however, one tends to pull away from this beautiful union. Now, the fifth step helps resolve these conflicts and you can say to all the world: “I am a human being.”
Step Five is ego deflating and necessary.
Discuss
Many feel it is not necessary to share humiliating experiences.
Discuss
Humility is born in Step Five. Our burden is lightened by admitting our defects to another human being.
Discuss
“Big Shotism” often hides our true motives or painful experiences.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 6
Some of our character defects
Housecleaning is not easy, especially when the dirt has been building up for so long. Most compulsive gamblers slither through life hiding from themselves and now strive to remove the mask so that one can see oneself.
In Step Four, we discovered many wrongs and after this discovery, strived to bring these wrongs to the surface. In Step Five, we admitted and discussed these defects with someone else. The relief was magnificent. For the first time in a long time, one can feel as though one is no longer playing catch up. You will feel as though you could make it if you practiced the program and asked for and accepted the help of your Higher Power.
In Step Six, these defects of character must be worked on and eliminated, if you want the best chance possible to arrest this illness. We’re told that character defects and negative emotions are really disturbances to serenity. Strive for serenity and see that very little upsets you in this goal. In the old days everything was disturbing. Now, our awareness will prevent us from going back into the old way of life.
Your actual list of character defects is the best place to start. Based on your newfound knowledge of yourself, select the one with which to start. One is all that you can handle at a time. If you pick your worst defect, any success will certainly help as you work on the others.
Be willing to move slowly and steadily and realize that every human being has character defects but retaining yours may lead you back to gambling. You shouldn’t subject yourself to these disturbances of serenity because you will place undue burden on your recovery.
At first, you may feel comfortable with some of these defects and are fearful about parting with them. But you will, given time, see the need for change and realize that these old enemies must go.
Willingness and honesty will be required to repeatedly try Step Six on all our defects.
Discuss
There is no spiritual effort required to want to eliminate obvious destructive excesses.
Discuss
Step Six tells that we have natural talents for procrastination.
Discuss
Step Six is a pivot and turning point within the Recovery Program.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 7
Now you’re being asked to seek, to remove, via your Higher Power, your character defects. Is this really necessary? It certainly is! Character defects were a major portion of the reason one gambled. Therefore, keeping these defects can lead one back to gambling.
For example, let’s take one defect – anger. Assume you get into an argument, handle it poorly and become blindly angry, anger turns into rage. Then you feel something must be done to relieve this terrible hateful feeling and resort to what comes naturally – gambling. In the past as you know that pain caused by anger was at least temporarily eased through gambling. Compulsive gambling is a learned, inadequate response to life. You must rid yourself of the disturbances that you have acquired through gambling.
What can be done to prevent such a relapse? First, you must have a desire to remove this defect. To realize the shortcoming can destroy you, desire comes more easily if you realize what is at stake. If you are masochistic, the desire to change may be slower in coming. Assuming you want to live, however, try to take the step as indicated and humbly ask your Higher Power to remove the defect.
Humbly ask for help? A nice guy who never hurt anyone except himself? When you’ve survived for so long, all by yourself, how can you humbly ask for help? Look at your track record with absolute honesty. Have you really been a winner? This honest look at your chaotic years should assure you that anger must go, if only a little at a time. You can only concentrate on one defect at a time. This is a slower process but it enables you to focus more clearly. Also, working defects singly is, for most, more comfortable.
Having selected a defect, seek help from your Higher Power. Each morning shortly after getting up, seek the will of your Higher Power daily as life’s problems arise. Ask for help in reducing or removing the defect on which you will be working on that day. You must do the leg work so your Higher Power can finish the job as He sees fit.
At this point, learning to cope is a new adventure. This is something many refused or were unable to do before entering Gamblers Anonymous. It’s strange at first, but each time you cope you get better at it. When you leave the world of reality and slip into irrational anger, you should now be able to recognize that something is wrong. You now have to get yourself back on the right track so you can go deal with today. Anger, the defect on which you were working still might be a problem. It will scare you when you react with so little control. Anger could lead you back to a bet via the hatred and resentment created. You’re not entitled to be angry; it’s an enemy, not a friend.
Each day, practice restraint until, God willing, you have formed a beautiful new habit, a positive habit. Today anger should be under control and cannot lead you back into your addiction. Feel good about that. The same procedure can then be applied to another defect. Now you can see how your Higher Power can remove defects, if your Higher Power chooses to do so.
Step Seven states that acquiring greater humility is the foundation of the Twelve Steps.
Discuss
Depending exclusively on our individual strength and intelligence is a blockade to faith in God.
Discuss
We have acquired some peace by working Steps 4, 5 and 6.
Discuss
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 8
In your fourth step inventory, you made a list of the improper actions that you did as well as the good, constructive accomplishments. In Step Six, you made a list of character defects. Now, Step Eight asks you to make yet another list. This one is to identify all those you have harmed, then, to become willing to make amends to them all.
First on the list, put yourself; you should have no doubt whatsoever with this choice. You’ve harmed yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. Have you harmed family, fellow workers, employer, church members or anyone else?
What is harm anyway?
Harm seems to be abusing others and taking from them the right to lead their own lives. Family members loved us and we were unable or unwilling to return that love. Perhaps, instead, we failed to provide adequately for them. Was that stealing? Perhaps, as the addiction progressed, we stole anything we could from our family or from anyone that was available.
One thing is certain. We stole time and this can never be regained. Money problems will eventually be worked out but the time lost is gone forever. With the help of our Higher Power and the program working, one day at a time, we never again will lose time or money unless we choose to return to gambling. The choice is ours, to gamble and risk progressive deterioration or not to gamble and develop a better way of life.
Did we lie? To whom and how much did we lie?
Good judgment in making this list is vital. Do not assume harm. Look at each instance and list it if you feel you did harm to another. A good yardstick is to ask yourself whether omitting a name might later return to “bug” you. If yes, add that name. Let’s say you wasted many hours at work as you waited and prepared your gambling actions. Now, in your new way of life, you can show your boss someone with a clear mind who can work properly giving more than is expected.
If goods or monies were stolen, all should be returned in a practical manner. A second story man can hardly return his ill-gotten gains without endangering himself and his family; but, he might leave money in an unmarked envelope to atone for the theft. So, these harms should be listed. The method of making restitution will be determined in the step which follows. To be forgiven, one must first forgive others and then one’s self. Therefore, don’t leave off the list a person harmed but who had also harmed you. The entire aim is to set right the harm one has done; nothing else matters. This step is starting your return to society. Properly done, all fear will dissipate and you will be free to talk and move about as a normal person.
The list should include everyone you have harmed. After having the willingness to make amends, you will be able to resume a beneficial role in society, usually for the first time in many years.
Step Eight is the beginning of our public relations policy and the end of isolation from our fellows.
Discuss
Our first obstacle in Step Eight is our defensive attitude.
Discuss
Step Eight asks us to make a “deep and honest” search of our true motives and actions.
Discuss
We are advised to use a “quiet” objective view to identify harm done to others.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 9
To make direct amends means making amends in person whenever possible. If miles apart makes such a meeting impossible, a phone call, perhaps, followed by a letter, would fit the bill. In regard to the method you choose, the question one must ask is: Am I following the program and taking my lumps or seeking a softer, easier way? One must be satisfied in one’s own heart that you did the harm and likewise you must be satisfied with the method chosen to make amends.
Which amend should be made first? Look back to Step Four and it’s quite possible that you have already made or started to make amends. Sometimes pressure makes this decision, although that may not be the best way. Loan sharks might scare you more than bookies so you may react to fear and start with them, bookies may come next, then banks. Last may come friends and relatives because you don’t fear them; in truth, they should probably be first on your list except for a crime you’ve committed which may lead to court action and incarceration.
The solution to these questions may be found in an effective pressure relief group meeting. Usually amidst all the confusion, it will be suggested that each creditor be asked for a moratorium. This extra time will permit a chance for a pressure relief group meeting to be held and a course charted which will, in time, rid one of all the pressure of debts and bring manageability into the new way of life. This pressure relief meeting can cover marital, legal and financial areas.
It is an objective approach; help will come from experienced people who once were in the same shoes. The success of such a get-together depends on complete openness, spouse’s willingness to cooperate in the plan and continuing desire to follow the plan to the letter until completed. It is equally important that the single member also have a pressure relief group meeting. As one approaches those harmed, one may assume to know how they will react to the effort. Try not to predict their reactions; their reaction is not predictable. At this point honesty is needed.
As long as this honesty is present, you can correctly present the harm and how you intend to try to make amends for this harm. One may be facing a long period of paying back debts; in some rare cases, perhaps, the task will take a lifetime. Remember, it took a long time gambling to get to this point and it may take a longer time to repay. Recovery from addiction is a lifetime process. These wrongs can be corrected by practicing the Steps in your daily life. One may hear in Gamblers Anonymous, “You must walk the way you talk.” As one practices the Steps, personal growth will result and family will benefit. Abstaining from gambling, working the program and making amends, you will gradually return to society. Self-respect, so long absent, starts to return.
Making amends does not always mean just repaying. You may not have taken money from your in-laws. You might have treated them very poorly or with indifference. Also think about your fellow workers, teachers, neighbors, etc.
Good judgment will be required to take Step Nine.
Discuss
Having made a list of those we harmed, we saw that “groups” of individuals are divided.
Discuss
Step Nine warns we can only freely admit damage and apologize when:
Discuss
Making amends may jeopardize our employment, family relations and personal friendships.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 10
Now that we have progressed through the first nine steps we should be ready to maintain them with the last three steps. Each day, take an inventory. This inventory is for today only and it shows quite clearly if the day has been used wisely or not. The daily balance sheet will help you see personal growth as you realize that you are accomplishing things which you could not do before. This is a good feeling which gradually increases self-worth and self-esteem. Changing “Love of self”, a fantasy, to “Self-love”, is a reality.
In taking an inventory, look for personal growth, not perfection. For example, make a list containing five items you want to achieve. At night the inventory might reveal that you accomplished three. Be happy with three. Remember the many days, months and even years, when you tried to think of even one thing of a positive nature that you had done. Seek daily progress, not perfection. Growth may be slow and small but be grateful for progress. The ability to cope is perhaps the most valuable reward which you will receive from the program. One no longer has to avoid a problem by ignoring or sidestepping the issue. With some problems, particularly at first, you may cope weakly. So what? Don’t avoid responsibility, and as you cope on a daily basis you will become more skillful. One day at a time becomes a lifetime. Some of us tend to be overachievers; we tend to take on tasks for which we are not yet ready. Either we are too new in the program to handle such a problem or we are too ambitious. Take it easy, a little progress each day is a great reward. Perhaps two questions we might ask ourselves each day are these: Did I help another person today? Did I contribute to harmony in my world today? It is suggested that no major changes be made during the first two years of abstinence. The mental and emotional imbalance we brought to Gamblers Anonymous needs time to heal. After two years our thoughts are much clearer and success much more reachable. Abstinence combined with physical, mental and emotional healing will give us a logical ability to cope.
The second part of the step is sometimes more difficult. To promptly admit to being wrong means that one has become a little humble and that can rid oneself of deceit, arrogance, false pride and other character defects. If you can admit to being wrong right now, you are truly gaining a deeper insight into yourself. Freely admit the other party is right and being glad for them, even appreciating confrontation and constructive criticism is a giant step. This step and the two which follow if done each day will help maintain daily growth. Another view is that Steps One through Nine are never done and should be regularly repeated.
Step Ten tells us to put our GA way of living to practical use.
Discuss
We cannot make much of our lives until we form the habit of self-appraisal (taking regular inventory).
Discuss
Daily inventories will become routine, not the unusual.
Discuss
Delay of apologies and procrastination is a defense.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 11
It should feel good to be into the maintenance steps. Step Eleven asks us to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him. Steps Two and Three made us aware that human resources were not enough even though when most entered Gamblers Anonymous they felt such human help would be sufficient. Eventually we came to realize that our addiction meant we must use all possible help. Now we must learn better how to communicate with our Higher Power. How can we get the most help available? How can we combine Higher Power help with human help? We will need both.
Back in the gambling days such communication was virtually impossible. Then most felt unworthy, ashamed and cut off from this visual contact. We sought help but offered nothing of ourselves. When one feels cut off, one doesn’t make any effort to communicate with one’s Higher Power.
As one approaches Step Eleven two points seem important. One, is whether this step helps control ego? Does one need the step? Talking with other members, you will be told that you need all the help that you can get. Also you will be told that some problems which may be your lot cannot be solved by human resources alone. The help is available so decide to use it. Whatever it takes, do it to avoid a return to gambling or the personality of the compulsive gambler.
The second point to be considered is ego. Those that have been in the program a while see how capable of change ego is. For extreme unworthiness, ego can expand to a very large unhealthy size in seconds. When ego swells the mind closes to new ideas, particularly those that are not one’s own. Then one’s Higher Power becomes unnecessary. “We can do it ourselves.”
It’s time we scrapped this way of thinking and replaced it with one which accepts a Higher Power as the boss and which, therefore, will not swell to an unworkable size. As you grow in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, ego will become more healthy as you learn. Old ego, the source of much stress, discomfort, impatience and anxiety will be replaced by a peace loving serene ego.
A conscious contact seems to start with daily prayer. What is prayer? To some it is a personal chat with their Higher Power. So each of us can pray as we see fit. Realizing your weakness you will seek the will of your Higher Power and the strength to carry it out. Seek your Higher Power’s will as you are blind to the master plan. Daily, thank your Higher Power for mercy in showing you His will.
At first prayer is difficult and you can “fake it until you make it.” In time you will grow to eagerly accept prayer and know the rewards it will give you. As you try to cope with the new problems life offers each day, prayer enlarges the ability to cope.
Meditation is prayer at an even deeper stage of spiritual development. If one prays the serenity prayer, effort at concentration is on the entire prayer. If you were to meditate you would concentrate on one word or one small group of words. Serenity, courage or wisdom would be a good place to start. A word examination like this makes the prayer more meaningful and makes you more aware of your place in the human order. This is a bare beginning in meditation and will help you to develop this meaningful practice.
The bottom line seems to be a more complete recognition of yourself in relation to God and human beings. Your success is now His and your failures, accept as your own. Seek to learn from the failure.
God will give you the strength to carry out His will if you seek His will and His strength.
Step Eleven outlines the promise that prayer and meditation are the means to conscious contact with our Higher Power, but…
Discuss
Those who experiment with prayer and meditation find unexpected results.
Discuss
Examination of any prayer will be helpful.
Discuss
Imagination is the food of sound achievement. Meditation and prayer are the food of our soul’s growth.
Discuss
Working the Steps: Step 12
This is the most popular step of all; even brand new members want to give of themselves. The bottom line, however, seems to be that one cannot give away something that one does not have. Saying it another way, you cannot carry the recovery program to another unless you are practicing the twelve steps in your life, one day at a time. Then you will have a strong message to carry.
Ask yourself if this is a spiritual program and it is. The chances are that your spiritual bankruptcy was complete. Most of us early in our gambling career abandoned our spiritual values. Now as these values are returning and with gratitude you will want to share them with other members as once they were shared with you. Listening and hearing what the other members are experiencing is probably the first opportunity you will have to help. Sometimes we teach when we should be listening.
Listening itself will communicate to others your personal understanding of what they are saying. Let’s reflect. Do you remember how low in self-esteem you were when you attended your first Gamblers Anonymous meeting? You had no faith and therefore no hope. As you listened and talked and eventually looked at yourself and the others (who seemed happy around the table) faith and hope slowly returned.
Recall that the first member you met came to the meeting early, arranged the table, put out the combo books and put on water for coffee. Was he working Step Twelve? Yes, by showing you he cared for you and all the other members. Caring seems a prime and necessary ingredient in order to work this Step. If you don’t care, how can you share?
Then this caring member told you that the program was and must be self-help. Then, he explained another Gamblers Anonymous paradox. If you give of yourself and try to help another human being, you will gain from the act of giving even if your effort fails. It is in giving that we receive and so it becomes self-help. Remember two words: effort and tried. Success in this Step is putting forth the effort and trying to carry the message, not how many heard you or followed your advice.
When you left the meeting you had to return to the wreckage you had created. You gave your phone number and received a phone list. You were probably too shy and ashamed to make a call but within the next day or so a member called you. It wasn’t so much what was said as the fact that someone cared enough to call. This serves to revitalize your faith and hope. Again, caring embodies all the nice elements of spiritual growth.
As you started to come out of the fog, you had a sponsor and hoped he would give you the time, experience and wisdom. This unwritten contract to help another seems the highest degree of working Step Twelve; it is caring at the highest level.
Some of the many ways to practice Step Twelve
Step Twelve offers us the opportunity to use our new knowledge and GA experience. Putting it to work! Success means trying.
Discuss
We find in Step Twelve that we have received a special gift by working the entire recovery program.
Discuss
Some members are prone to “two stepping”: working only Steps One and Twelve.
Discuss
We can carry our GA spirit into our daily affairs.
Discuss
From Gamblers Anonymous literature.
Reading 6 of 7
The Gamblers Anonymous Unity Program is a framework for the well-being of individual groups and the Fellowship as a whole.
The Unity Program is outlined in 12 steps and is meant to insure the continuity and perpetuity of Gamblers Anonymous.
In order to maintain the Fellowship for present and future members, both individual and groups follow the proven concepts upon which the Unity Program is based. The essence of this program is in the preservation of common welfare. Members understand that what is best for the group is best for the individual.
The Unity Program serves to protect the Fellowship from disruption. Members work together under the principles of unity in order to preserve and perpetuate the opportunity for themselves and other compulsive gamblers to recover and grow within the Fellowship.
In order to maintain unity our experience has shown that:
Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon group unity.
Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
The only requirement for Gamblers Anonymous membership is a desire to stop gambling.
Each group should be self-governing except in matters affecting other groups or Gamblers Anonymous as a whole.
Gamblers Anonymous has but one primary purpose: to carry its message to the compulsive gambler who still suffers.
Gamblers Anonymous ought never endorse, finance or lend the Gamblers Anonymous name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
Every Gamblers Anonymous group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
Gamblers Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
Gamblers Anonymous, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
Gamblers Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the Gamblers Anonymous name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films and television.
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of the Gamblers Anonymous program, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
From Gamblers Anonymous literature.
Reading 7 of 7
This is another common characteristic of compulsive gamblers.
A lot of time is spent creating images of the great and wonderful things they are going to do as soon as they make the big win. They often see themselves as quite philanthropic and charming people. They may dream of providing families and friends with new cars, mink coats, and other luxuries. Compulsive gamblers picture themselves leading a pleasant gracious life, made possible by the huge sums of money they will accrue from their “system”. Servants, penthouses, nice clothes, charming friends, yachts, and world tours are a few of the wonderful things that are just around the corner after a big win is finally made.
Pathetically, however, there never seems to be a big enough winning to make even the smallest dream come true. When compulsive gamblers succeed, they gamble to dream still greater dreams. When failing, they gamble in reckless desperation and the depths of their misery are fathomless as their dream world comes crashing down. Sadly, they will struggle back, dream more dreams, and of course suffer more misery. No one can convince them that their great schemes will not someday come true. They believe they will, for without this dream world, life for them would not be tolerable.
From Gamblers Anonymous literature.
Pagninilay · Daily reading
One reading for each day of the year, in English and Tagalog.
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Reflection for the Day
Pagninilay para sa Araw na ito
From Gamblers Anonymous literature. The same reflection is read on this date every year.